I've been spending most of my time in the last few days with my family and loved ones as I was scheduled to go back to New Zealand this Thursday. However, just like every year there's always a reason for me to postpone my flight so inshaAllah I'll be going back a little bit later than planned.
At the same time, I took a little break from the online world because I needed the time to think about a lot of things. There are so many distractions around us these days that it's hard to find the tranquility that we really need once in a while. Think about it, when it's silent we're bound to switch on the television or play music because we're not comfortable with silence and that just proves how much we really don't like to just think about reality for a moment and how far away we have distanced ourselves from what is natural. Silence is the language of nature. When I was at the Night Safari in Singapore and my friends and I were walking through the forest trails I realised how out place we are as human beings in this world. Everything else complements each other to maintain Earth's balance like clockwork until... we came along. We don't belong here but since we are here it means we have a higher purpose to fulfill aside from reproduction and survival, don't you think?
I think that every single action that we perform is related to something we are searching for in life. We hardly think about it because it appears as common sense. Apparently that's the function of ideology. For example, a mother will go to the supermarket because she wants to purchase food that she will prepare for her family.... because she wants to nourish and love them... because she is yearning for their love too... as their love will make her happy and because at the end of the day, God will reward her for simply carrying out her responsibility as a mother and wife. Next example, why do people drink alcohol? Because they want a temporary lapse from reality... as it will enable them to lower their inhibitions and have fun... because they want to forget who they really are in real life. I used to frequently debate about alcohol with a friend. "Why do you have to drink? What is it really that you're trying to forget and escape from?" He couldn't answer me or maybe he just didn't want to hear the words come out from his own mouth. Some people just don't want to face reality. Ok here's another one, why do we waste money buying things we don't really need or even want? I'll leave that one for you to think about because we all do it for different reasons.
I don't know if this makes any sense to you and maybe I'm just rambling. Maybe I'm wrong but sometimes I think there's always something deeper to what it really seems. So lately that's what I've been doing. Digging deeper into my actions. What am I really searching for in life and am I doing all that I can in order to achieve it? Or am I subconsciously letting my lower self get in the way of my higher purpose? What have I been doing all this while? Who are the people I've chosen to surround myself with? Are they really my friends or are they just there superficially? Have I been a good daughter, sister, relative, friend, etc. or have I been who I am superficially?
Some doors need to be closed in order for new ones to open and I think I need to open or even break down some new doors that will hopefully lead me to what I am truly searching for in life. Ultimately, the key to these doors is my love for God and my passion for life and what is to come after. It's that simple.