Faith Friday: The Muslim's Guide to Love (Part II)


So the wedding excitement is over. You’re back from your honeymoon and this is when reality kicks in. How can you continue to be happy as a couple in the years to come? With divorce becoming increasingly common, it can be a scary thought. Mufti Menk’s solution is simple: Be God-conscious at all times and know that you are going to return to Him one day.

He created the heavens and earth in truth and formed you and perfected your forms; and to Him is the [final] destination. He knows what is within the heavens and earth and knows what you conceal and what you declare. And Allah is All-Knowing of what lies within the hearts. {Surah At-Taghabun, 64: 3-4}

In the chase for dunya, sometimes we forget who we are and the roles we are committed to. Everyone makes mistakes so make today the day you start taking your role as a husband or wife more seriously. Don’t let your marriage slip between your fingers. You will be accountable for it in front of Allah (subhanahu wa taala) one day.

Clothe One Another

One particular verse in Surah Al-Baqarah caught my attention and it’s amazing how Allah (swt) can be so succinct and comprehensive at the same time.

“…They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” { Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:187}

In this verse, Allah (swt) uses clothing as a metaphor to draw a comparison between the functionality of clothes and the purpose of marital relationship in a person’s life. On one hand, the tangible function of clothing is to provide warmth or coolness, comfort, protection, concealment and adornment. On the other, its intangible function is to reflect the person who is wearing it. When you see a person one of the first things you will notice about them is the clothes they wear. Naturally, people use clothes to portray a certain image and to send message about who they are. As a spouse, you are consciously and subconsciously doing all of the above, or you should be, except in a different sense of the words.


When your spouse is in need of assurance and support you should embrace them warmly like how Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) embraced Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who trembled in awe and fear after he received his first revelation from Allah (swt). One of the most important roles of a spouse is to provide ease and tranquillity when they need it the most. This also means allowing them some time and space to ‘cool down’ after an argument.

As a spouse, it is also your responsibility to protect them from physical, emotional and spiritual harm. Protect your wife or husband from the dangers of this dunya and the akhirah. Sometimes this means giving them nasiha (constructive advice) in a kind manner when you see them doing something wrong or against the teachings of Islam. Additionally, conceal your spouse’s weaknesses instead of making fun of them in front of friends and relatives even if you only meant it as a joke.

Occasionally, clothes need to be altered for various reasons. This doesn’t mean you should change who you are merely to please someone else. It simply means that sometimes compromises have to be made and egos have to be placed aside to preserve something as sacred as your marriage. Be patient and understand the needs of your spouse. Clothes say so much about a person. Similarly, most times your spouse’s well-being says a lot about who you are as a husband or wife. If you know how to care for your finest garments, you should also take proper care of your spouse.

The clothes you wear are also a form of adornment and therefore it is something that adds beauty to your life. Although marriage will come with its trials, it is also a mercy that Allah (swt) has given us to bring happiness into our lives. So be married and be merry. Don’t make each other miserable. Like clothing, your relationship with your spouse is also a means of worship. Make the most of everyday and please one another for the sake of pleasing Allah (swt).

Husbands, always remember this verse: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.”{Sûrah an-Nisâ’: 34}

And wives, remember this hadithThe Messenger (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “If a woman observes her five daily prayers, fasts during the month of Ramadhan, guards her chastity and remains faithful to her husband, she may enter Paradise through any of the gates she wishes.” {Ibn Hibban – Hadith Sahih}

{Read the full article at}
{'The Muslim's Guide to Love Part I'}

P.S.  Here's a great video about love and marriage in Islam. Jumaah Mubarak ;)


Huda said…
awww i love the picture mashallah! and the last part about listing to your spouse and etc is good advice not just for married people but people in genereal, like amongst your family memebers and friends you should have similar qualities of listing to them and giving them nasiaha
Anonymous said…
I understand that you are trying to learn more about our religion, but if you are unmarried, then what authority do you have to write about this topic?

Quoting some ayat or hadith doesn't not make one an expert or knowledgeable in a field.
Shahirah Elaiza said…
@huda, definitely, it's important to listen and to give and take in any relationship.
Shahirah Elaiza said…
@Anon, I was hoping someone would ask that, thank you. The information in this series was inspired and extracted from a lecture I attended by Mufti Ismail Menk. I mentioned this in Part I:
Coco said…
@anonymous Whether the writer of this blog is married or unmarried, she has every right as a Muslim to discuss and write about anything pertaining to our faith, but doing this she might be educating millions of people who might not have been aware of certain things as long as the information that is being posted is correct. One day she will also be a married woman and by educating herself now already, she can prepare herself to be the best wife for her future husband. She did not say that she is an expert. By reading up or researching your religion you become more knowledgeable and in the quraan it states,"seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave". We as muslims should not be so quick to judge one another especially when the other is trying to do good.

Shahirah Elaiza said…
@Miss Coco, thank you for that =) I did attend the lecture to learn more about my deen and then I thought it would be great to share what I learned with those who couldn't be there.

Maybe Anon misunderstood why I wrote this series or had a bad day ;)

JazakumAllah Khair everyone!
Coco said…
Only a pleasure, I stumbled across your blog a few months ago and thoroughly enjoyed reading it, keep up the good work.
I had the pleasure of attending Mufti Menks lectures last Ramadaan, he spent the whole month in Cape Town. It was absolutely inspiring and we left Taraweeg feeling very blessed, Insha-Allah we will have the opportunity this Ramadaan too.